(tl;dr at the end!)
So I had to think about it... why did I enter this jam? I didn't enter it to get any sort of prize, or to see how much better my game is than anyone else's. I'm a hobbyist, I like to make games. The challenge was to finish a whole game in a weekend, a challenge I can now say I have conquered. I made a game that I think is good. I made a game that people have played and (seemingly) enjoyed. I think that, as far as LD goes, I've succeeded on a personal level.
I say this because I was starting to get a little stressed out about my "coolness" factor, and the need to go out and play/review a bunch of games just for the sake of getting my own game reviewed. Don't get me wrong, I think this system is great. I think the cycle of "review to get reviews" creates a very cool economy of feedback and criticism. And I'm not trying to say "well I want reviews and a score but I don't want to work for them". In fact, this is why I started thinking about why I'm here.
You might just say "well you're being lazy, and you're being whiny, and you're making excuses for being lazy and whiny". You can think whatever you want to think, because I can't change your mind. But I'll simply tell you that you're wrong and leave it at that.
I needed to understand, for myself, why I wanted a score anyways. Self-satisfaction? I have that, I finished a game and people liked it. To compete against other people and their games? Well no, why would I do that? Everyone's a lot more talented and experienced than I am, so it's hardly a contest in that sense, and even if it weren't true, art stops being fun for me when we have to say that it's worse than someone else's. To prove something to myself? See point one, I already have. Out of a gameshow-esque desire to keep shooting for the moon? Probably.
What I think I need to do is just relax now. Maybe play a game or two and rate it, maybe not. I'm at 20, with karma for a few more, so I'll hopefully get a score at the end no matter what. It doesn't really matter, in the end. I finished my game, so I won. That's something a lot of people can't say. A lot of people can, but now I can call myself one of those people, and that makes me feel good.
Also, I understand that this is just a part of life as a published game developer. Which is why I don't intend on becoming a game developer as a full-on career. I want to enjoy my time and have fun making games, hopefully gaining a fan or two in the process. Eventually I'll probably want more, but I'm in the hobby phase right now.
Anyways, thanks for getting to the end of this, if you did. It's off my chest now. c:
tl;dr I'm done incessantly rating and reviewing for the sake of my own game, happy with where my game is, don't care about what score I get, just care that I finished my game and that people didn't outright hate it.