Hello EMPLOYEE_NAME,

in case you're a Linux or Mac user and have come across Faceless Corps. newest job posting for a pneumatic tube sorting station operator only to have your excitement and dreams crushed by the gut wrenching realisation that we had to turn down your application due to being Windows exclusive - rejoice! In the process of overhauling our hiring practices and standards as unconditionally requested by state regulators, we have started to supply a web client, tearing down the borders of OS restrictions and the tyranny which was forced upon all of us every day!

Please, do feel free to take another look at our attractive working conditions. You'll be surprised at how much FUN all of us here at Faceless Corp. are.

Kind regards,

Klaus Klapper, Faceless Corp. Employee ID 14128 Human Resources Floor 09