The Check-Out Line by Tomodachi

[raw]
made by Tomodachi for Ludum Dare 47 (JAM)

The Check-Out Line is an interactive fiction/text adventure game with a focus on story and atmosphere. There's more to it than you see on the surface.

I am a narrative designer with minimal coding ability so I used Twine to complete this jam project. I included a few fun features but nothing extremely code-intensive. Theme: Stuck in a loop!

Ratings

Overall 784th 3.5⭐ 24🧑‍⚖️
Fun 1290th 2.881⭐ 23🧑‍⚖️
Innovation 535th 3.571⭐ 23🧑‍⚖️
Theme 141th 4.214⭐ 23🧑‍⚖️
Audio 821th 3.095⭐ 23🧑‍⚖️
Mood 620th 3.571⭐ 23🧑‍⚖️
Given 53🗳️ 13🗨️

Feedback

botskills101
03. Oct 2020 · 01:28 UTC
there's no game
BEK
03. Oct 2020 · 09:38 UTC
why would you upload something that has nothing
Basileios
05. Oct 2020 · 17:07 UTC
WOW! This is great. I was originally a bit deterred, but then I started to play. This is the gaming embodiment of a high-effort shitpost. Sure, it has no value. But god, it's great.
🎤 Tomodachi
05. Oct 2020 · 17:17 UTC
@basileios You didn't play long enough. There is an actual game there. Let it run for a few loops and see what happens. But I appreciate the amusement regardless.
Basileios
05. Oct 2020 · 17:26 UTC
@tomodachi i got to the game - it was great.
GibsS
05. Oct 2020 · 18:59 UTC
Good narrative game, at first I didn't play enought but after reading the comments I gave it another try and got to the game.
Asemic
06. Oct 2020 · 03:49 UTC
Interesting game, maybe some visuals would make it better. Very original thought, i can tell it took a lot of work
Valkija
06. Oct 2020 · 12:47 UTC
This is incredible, I've not felt so enraptured by a text adventure before. I think the lack of visuals benefit this, the hair on my arms was standing up as it all began to unravel... Perfect music choice, the ambience it creates is sublime. 5 stars across the board for this one.
Koolruz
07. Oct 2020 · 00:26 UTC
I had a hard time figuring out exactly what was changing between loops, but maybe that was the point! I *think* I beat the game, but it was hard to say, given how it ends. ;)

I did run into an error at some point - I clicked "Turn Around" on my second time that I had that option (After clicking "Continue" the first time around), and got the following error, and then the music started playing over itself:

"```NotSupportedError: Operation is not supported
@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html line 905 > injectedScript:6:2
n@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:905:3418
D@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:905:9454
append@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:906:27979
c@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:920:22077
goToPassage@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:920:22437
@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:921:31431
dispatch@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:906:22652
add/y.handle@https://v6p9d9t4.ssl.hwcdn.net/html/2800277/index.html:906:20643```


(This is probably due to a bug in the Harlowe game engine.)"

Speaking of the music, I really liked what you did with the audio - The subtle shifting of the loop and gentle, but somewhat melancholy melody worked really well to set the stage for the narrative! :)
Gabriel Dias Oliveira de Almeida
07. Oct 2020 · 00:33 UTC
I really missed the Twine hahahaha It's a great way to make narrative design games, congrats a lot :D
jaxsen
08. Oct 2020 · 23:08 UTC
This is amazing! The music and the way it distorts really makes it feel way more immersive.
Budaniel
10. Oct 2020 · 00:07 UTC
That got real trippy, real quick. I ran into the same error as Koolruz, btw. I liked the music!
wizard sino
13. Oct 2020 · 22:11 UTC
That's an Awful store. But who knows? They may have deserved it. they may have been a Noisy Tenant or some similarly annoying thing.
cake
17. Oct 2020 · 14:14 UTC
_**Amazing**_, I loved every second of it.

**Spoilers:**

I had a really hard time choosing whether I should "give in" or "resist" but in the end I ended up resisting and going back to the loop.

Also, I assumed the **Turn Around** _"error"_ and the music playing over itself was intentional (and a nice touch).

_Congrats on making a unique experience!_
🎤 Tomodachi
17. Oct 2020 · 17:59 UTC
@cake there are no mistakes, only happy accidents 😂

Thanks for the compliments. I'm glad it was a fun experience.
Enes Ayyildiz
20. Oct 2020 · 06:14 UTC
Well the story with visuals would be better. This type of games need more time to finish and to be affected by. It seems that you spent many hours to create the story. It would be nice to see your game as a mobile game withs some visuals.