I made it to the very end. And enjoyed the trip, even if the protagonist didn't so much. Nice writing and I kind of liked how the content didn't require me to solve any puzzles and such. For where the logs were and I think there was a similar list of links in some other place, it would have been nice just to have them numbered clearly because it was easy to get lost about which I had read and which I had not. So be proud that you wrote a 15k story in a weekend!

I don't know if this is where you ran out of time but I happened upon a part where it seemed incomplete

With the ill-mood in the air, few people want to talk today.

Get to know...

The (if:) command should be assigned to a variable or attached to a hook.►Nina and Aurora

The (if:) command should be assigned to a variable or attached to a hook.►Rick...

Anyway...

@local-minimum: Thanks for the feedback! That was a bug I thought I'd fixed a while back, but it looks like I hadn't uploaded the fixed version yet >_<

A very interesting story, although I'm not sure if it's a game.

Interesting beginning for the story. The idea of an story for LD is great. Well done :)

Pretty depressing stuff you've got here. Luckily, I've just finished 13 Reasons Why so I was ready. Writing was good. I would appreciate more philosophy as exploring the ship doesn't really matter if you gonna die, but that might just be me. A little too long as well but I did finish it.

Good to see some Twine around here.
It's nice to see how someone can approach the topic in a narrative way.
You added some really good points in there, like making the "one by one" being click one by one, and these kind of tricks.
Great job!

Impressive work for a weekend, and some really nice writing. I think this fits the theme perfectly, and it's an interesting story that I haven't seen in this form before. My only feedback is that it would have been nice to see more connection between the happenings of each day. I would have been happy to have fewer choices on what to do each day, but which were more connected together by a narrative.

Very innovative. I love the unique approach to story telling. I think there's a lot of potential to be explored here. I'm amazed how much content you were able to produce in one weekend. Nice work!

Apart from a few typos the writing is superb and captivating and I loved all the little creative ways you found to present the story bits. You made me want to try my hand at Twine as well, thanks!

This is very well done considering it was all created within 48 hours of time. Its an interesting submission in comparison to others since well... its an intriguing story instead of your competition typical game. I like how you can choose which parts you work your way through, but still get to read all the different parts to the story. It was pretty depressing at the end, but overall it was well written and captivating. My only suggestion would be to organize some of the links a little bit better. I found that I would have trouble finding some of the links to other parts of the story, even when I tried using the back button provided. If I was half way through reading a section and then a bunch of links would take me to a different one, I had some trouble getting back to the original section I didn't finish reading (Maybe I missed something that would help, I am not entirely sure). Other than that, great job! I am curious to see what this would look like if it had visuals or was turned into some sort of role play game.

Thanks for the feedback everyone! I've had a lot of people saying the tone is rather depressing, and that was intentional, but do you think a lighter ending might have made for a stronger experience?

@listonos I was intending to have the characters discuss their impending death as it drew nearer, but didn't get round to that. For the period I did develop, I imagine everyone was doing their best to put it out of their minds.

@tobico You're right about that! There were a few things I'd hoped to make more obvious that I didn't get round to, but there was a lot going on behind the scenes that I could have been more clear about!

@obidubi You didn't miss something, that was a mistake on my part. I was experimenting a lot with what twine could do, so I didn't really consider how hard it would be to differentiate between links that expand text and links that take you to other passages. I'll definitely look into making that clearer in the future!

Made it to the end, the story is good and the idea is there, it just needs a little more. Perhaps some backgrounds of the ship or space and some ambient music would help add a lot of depth to it. You've got a great start here, it just needs a little more. Nice work.

I've noticed that I've come to appreciate the quiter LD games (and I don't mean sound here) so much. Reviewing when work throws up a stressful project is much nicer this way :smile:

I loved this. Twine *really* works well with irony and sacasm (and a gifted author of course). For example, the whole bit where 'hard work' slowly turns into 'hard work, luck and parents' (a theme repeated if you talk to Rick) when you select the Hong-Kong penthouse as your abode. Or when 'TV show' eventually morphs into 'watch idiots die in space'. I'm not sure a static book could ever convey the sheer *bitterness* of the protagonist that vividly.

Oh, and I've noticed that, while you did it correct the first time (Huygens), your write it 'Huygen' from the 3rd report onwards. I've noticed other typo's before (I wrote down 'their'... but not where you made the typo or what you should've replaced it with). But. Well. This was all written off-the-cuff in a single weekend, which, given the quality of the writing, impresses me, and one has to expect typos! :wink:

Very cool, I did not expect to see any text based games. I haven't experienced Twine games before, certainly interesting. I am surprised by how expansive it is, I would never be able to do this much writing in 48 hours!

Nice, Twine! I should note that I also ran into a bug similar to the aforementioned one.

Besides that, I can't say that I did a *deep* reading (sorry! Got a billion other games to rate), but what was there was fine! You did some interesting things with the Twine medium specifically, which I appreciated.

Past that, I do think the narrative could have had a little more behind it. I think you did a good job of creating an atmosphere, but I would have liked to have some sort of movement in the story, some sort of character development, conflict, etc. (unless I just missed it!) That said, there's only so much you can do in a weekend. ;) Nice job!

@gamechoy Yeah, I can see how that would definitely have helped, but I wanted to see how focusing on a single aspect of a game for 48 hours would work, and Twine gave me the methodology to try that. I probably won't keep working on this one, because I ended up working on my previous LD game right up until this jam, but I do want to work more with Twine in the future.

@remco Thanks so much for your feedback! A lot of that is things that I'd been hoping to achieve, so hearing that you found it that way is really heartening! This was my first time working with Twine, so I wanted to experiment and see what was possible with the language! (Thanks for the typo catches too, I probably can afford to go back and fix them!

@kleinzach I'd really recommend you look into more Twine games, there's some really interesting things people have done with the medium, and stuff I wasn't even able to try and replicate!

@ddrkirbyisq Thanks for your feedback! I am concerned that you apparently ran into that bug again, though... Would you mind me asking what browser you're using? I don't know if that could be a problem, but I figure it's worth a shot.

This was a pretty good use of the theme. Overall, I enjoyed the story, and played through multiple times in order to see some of the different arcs/events/subplots. Great job!

Great work.

I went for three playthroughs, got two different endings [SPOILER: stravation, drift away /SPOILER], and though I noticed a few bugs (like the acquaintance status with nina/aurora not resetting between playthroughs, some errors in if statements - though nothing game-breaking + some typos) it still was a well-designed choose-your-own-adventure.

You're using hypertext in a very entertaining way - I especially liked the one with the dream where 'something comes from between the cracks in space'; extremely well thought out and executed, gave me the chills actually. I wasn't expecting that from a text game.

Good writing, fun design, you managed to keep the mood consistent without graphics, adhered to theme, and managed a quite interesting approach to hypertext usage. All that while learning a new language.

** If that's not great work, I don't know what is. **

I hope you'll be able to iron out all of the minute bugs, maybe add some new paths to make the game longer, and release this game more widely, it deserves it.

Leaving my rating for your project - cheers, and stay awesome!

Wow, that was a rollercoaster. It wasn't action packed, it wasn't full of exciting gameplay, but it didn't need to be. It didn't need to be that type of game to still manage to keep my attention, and hold it from start to finish. For an emotional game this is fabulous. It puts you in the shoes of the character, and lets you decided how you want to think, what you want to think, and how much. The mood you set was fabulous, and utterly full of despair, and the way you executed this was done really well. I don't think I really have any major complaints about this what so ever. Fantastic job!

@smiling-cat-entertainment @porcus-pie and @takusan Thanks so much! Perhaps spending the 48 hours with my writing turned me off it, because I was feeling pretty iffy about this one. Hearing such kind words about it is really heartening! ^_^

Impressive. Is it possible to ... win ? :-)

@rockhoppergames: I'm on Chrome 64-bit here, running windows server 2012 :)

Yes, one of the very few Twine entries here! I liked this very much, with this desperate and gloomy mood, and I played it till the end, very dark. And very deep in terms of story, even these repeating dream sequences were detailed and reminded me a lot of Lovecraft tales. Very good writing, and the various angles or refinements of the text when clicking on it were really enhancing the overall setting and mood a lot. Very good work!!!

Okay, I went back to handle some bug fixing today, and the new version should be uploaded now. Strangely, I wasn't able to reproduce the crew-members bug, but I did find a handful of other bugs that should now be fixed. As a result, you can now access the variants to the "memories" dream (if you've selected a home by the third night, you should have a dream specific to your home), and if you don't steal any food, a slightly different ending should play. Sorry to everyone who ran into these bugs!

@ace17 It's possible to die in space! If you're asking if it's possible to survive, though, no. Even with the ending that was being blocked by a bug, you still die, just in a slightly different way.

@ddrkirbyisq I wasn't able to reproduce the bug on chrome either, but thanks for your help!

@zondarg Thanks a lot for your feedback! I'm glad you liked it! I tried to put in a bit of cosmic horror there, so I'm glad that landed!

Quite interesting, and I liked how you played with the medium itself. The best twine games tend to do that. And the story of course.


I found one bug when I was thinking of friends, and I think I chose the last option when thinking of friends, and it was about someone called "Jose".


I don't know why he chose me as a The (link-reveal:) command should be assigned to a variable or attached to a hook.►This tagged hook doesn't have a matching ].►We shared an house for a while, and he decided that he liked me.

It's impressive how much was written in just 48 hours, I enjoyed reading it!

@icecheetah Thanks for the catch! I should have fixed that now!

Never played a twine game before. Was real cool. Dig the mood and writing was ace. great work! :)

First time playing a twine game. It was good, but now I feel trapped. Help! Just kidding (not really), I enjoyed it.

I've seen a lot of cringe-bad twines, but this one was seriously well-written. There were inevitably some typos, and I ran into one screen that was broken/unfinished (image below). Also, I think the link-reveals were overused in some places. It seems like overkill to click on the same bit of text several times and have it only reveal a couple of extra words each time if you're not using it for dramatic effect. Overall though, I really like this one. I'm a sucker for crushingly depressing stories, and this one surely hits the mark. You captured the oppressive mood perfectly.


Wow, this was amazing! The story is actually great, and the ability to control it yourself is a really interesting mechanic. Overall, it was a very interesting and immersive experience.
(Try out my game if you have time, i need a few more votes before tomorrow)

The ItchIO embed thingy doesn't work for me. Maybe you can upload it to a second site?