2052 by Mach60KAS

[raw]
made by Mach60KAS for LD24 (COMPO)
Made using Twine, with any graphics done in Photoshop.

After realising I had allocated myself virtually no time for the compo itself I decided to set myself a goal that I could achieve in the limited free time I had - to create interactive fiction alluding to the theme! Luckily for me, Twine was an utter breeze to use and learn, and I honestly think everyone should give it a shot, if only as a small experiment: http://gimcrackd.com/etc/src/ .

2052 itself is an interactive story told from the perspective of Karen Lewis, a journalist living in a dystopian society where the rich have grown their businesses beyond sane limits. These megacorporations have evolved to the point where they control almost all facets of modern society - and crush all their opposition, leaving the society below them to stagnate.

I'm proud of having made this, for not only making it in 16 of the 48 hours but also that I've created a project as complete as I intended it to be from the start.

Please, share any comments and criticism! I'd love to hear how you'd improve it! :)

TO PLAY
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Simply read the story, click the links embedded in the text for more information and guide the character through the story. That is all.

Ratings

Coolness 100% 1
Overall 3.07 316
Audio 1.30 586
Fun 2.57 492
Graphics 1.73 729
Humor 2.08 361
Innovation 2.95 329
Mood 3.38 87
Theme 2.76 426

Feedback

Will Xyen
27. Aug 2012 路 14:33 UTC
Nice text adventure, seems to either end abruptly from the path I took or I'm missing something.
Ligh7zIncrement
27. Aug 2012 路 14:51 UTC
Created a very good atmosphere, might have been better if the text segments were broken down with more options but other than that it was quite enjoyable.
kyyrma
27. Aug 2012 路 15:52 UTC
Your work is well written and really ticks all the boxes on the dystopian sci-fi / cyberpunk clich茅 checklist (which in this particular genre is often what readers are hoping for).

The amount of interaction was disappointingly low however, and it felt a bit more like one of those novels written in hypertext instead of a proper game. The image in the opening of the game sets the mood well, and I would've enjoyed more visual elements throughout.
馃帳 Mach60KAS
27. Aug 2012 路 16:21 UTC
Yeah, I agree that I should have implemented more interactivity - else it isn't really a game as such, is it? Thanks very much for the feedback though! :D
Blobby101
27. Aug 2012 路 19:13 UTC
Great! Haven't seen too many text adventures around lately, it's a shame. I really like the extra bits of background information you can access :)
BuffaloPhil
27. Aug 2012 路 19:52 UTC
Some really nice writing here! Very happy to find a text adventure in Marioland. Well played chap
mappum
27. Aug 2012 路 19:56 UTC
I'm impressed at how well-written this was. You really created a cool, realistic universe, and set a nice mood. I could really see this story as a movie or big-company game or something.
madameberry
27. Aug 2012 路 21:07 UTC
Fantastic story. The "Restart Story" button doesn't seem to work.
Ali Sajid Imami
27. Aug 2012 路 23:34 UTC
An excellent narrative. And the library you used looks much nicer than mine. :D
Awesome narrative. I wish I could write such things. :)
Drabiter
28. Aug 2012 路 01:13 UTC
Good story, and CAT sounds great.
Mamick
28. Aug 2012 路 04:39 UTC
Interesting idea and good world building. The setting and plot might be a bit clich茅, but it is one of my favourites, so I'm fine with it.

Most of the writing communities I鈥檝e been a part of breed incredibly unfair amounts of criticism, so I wouldn鈥檛 take what I say next personally. The writing itself is far above average, but it could be improved somewhat. Some typos and choppiness mar what could be (and almost is) a great atmospheric piece of writing, though that may be because of time constraints. The beginning doesn't really draw me in either. Still, great work.

Sidenote: we're allowed to fix typos and grammatical/stylistic mistakes might be considered typos, so would you be allowed to change huge amounts of your game?
馃帳 Mach60KAS
28. Aug 2012 路 11:34 UTC
@Mamick I think correcting typos is acceptable, since it isn't adding any new features as such. I think for instance adding a paragraph or two would not be allowed in IF/Text adventures.
garygreen
28. Aug 2012 路 23:18 UTC
I'd agree with some of the others who say that it would be nice to have a bit more interaction in the story. But I still enjoyed the story and thought it was well written.
DevoreUK
28. Aug 2012 路 23:23 UTC
Thanks for leading me to twine, it looks really cool. I like the setting and the story, especially impressive in such a short space of time. Like some others for more interaction but overall great job.
daydalus
28. Aug 2012 路 23:40 UTC
Nice, an old school text adventure! Great story, love the William Gibson-ish setting. I also really like how the text was presented, in a continually scrolling webpage, instead of through direct hyperlinks. It's a great format for interactive fiction - the reader feels like they are making the story as they go along instead of simply navigating a web page.

One bug I did find - I rewound to "Unlimited Research Works" and hit the ... This pulled up "Long Road Home" which only had "undefined".

Great work on this one, I'm interested to see the other endings to the story :)
mdkess
29. Aug 2012 路 12:11 UTC
Great! It's nice to see outside the box games here! I like your writing style a lot, the world was nicely detailed. Have you done other interactive fiction before? I'd love to play it if so! The downside was that it felt a bit random - you pick an option, and ultimately get to a good or bad ending, rather than having any chance to explore.

Overall, this was a very enjoyable read. :)
galman
29. Aug 2012 路 13:43 UTC
You did a really good text adventure! It's quite hard to compare it to the other games on Ludum Dare( No graphics, audio, etc.. ) But still, Nice work :-)
Ragzouken
29. Aug 2012 路 14:24 UTC
Wish I had the skill to write something like this! I liked the story but it was very linear (understandable given the time constraints).
Jacic
29. Aug 2012 路 16:45 UTC
There were quite a few typos, but the story itself is very enjoyable.
songman
29. Aug 2012 路 16:52 UTC
I really liked the story of yours. I would like to know what happens next :-) If you want to give this a reasonable amount of time, it could become very nice novel - Definetely, I would buy it. Good work.
Cake&Code
29. Aug 2012 路 17:06 UTC
Very different than the other entries I've played thus far. Took me back to the old System Shock games with all the non-mission-critical information you can gather that is just lore. Really well written but I wish it were longer or there were more breadth! Keep going with this :)
zx81
29. Aug 2012 路 18:51 UTC
The story is interesting but lacks interactions for it to seen and rated as a game. It was great idea for a visual novel kost and wasted due to lack of time.
tompudding
29. Aug 2012 路 21:42 UTC
I think I would have liked to seen both a little more interactivity, and a little more subtle introduction (e.g rather than explain what a thing is, have the protagonist use it in such way as to make it clear what it is). Those are minor critiques though and I enjoyed it very much, thank you.
heuermh
30. Aug 2012 路 03:21 UTC
Oh, how can I not Weaponize the dustbin?
Thurig
30. Aug 2012 路 07:48 UTC
I wished I could write a story like yours!
pbdiode
30. Aug 2012 路 14:31 UTC
Ran into a couple of 'Undefined' paths, and wished there were some more choices a long the way.

But very pleasant to read, I do enjoy IF. Good Job!
Uberi
30. Aug 2012 路 17:36 UTC
Good story! Well paced and has a lot of atmosphere.
infernet89
31. Aug 2012 路 19:21 UTC
Bad End ._.
I didn't expecting a text adventure, but it was surprisingly nice to read! Good work!
juaxix
03. Sep 2012 路 13:12 UTC
Ah, an interactive book...i like the idea but I love videogames too! , I would like to have more time :)
tomhunt
07. Sep 2012 路 05:07 UTC
Nice little sci-fi-themed choose-your-own-adventure. It was interesting to read something in this style in a more modern format.

I liked the setting and the atmosphere. Some of the dialogue seemed a little hokey in spots, and the story seemed to end a bit too soon, even when I seemed to make all the right choices. I did find myself actually going through the different paths to see what would happen. It might be interesting to see this treated out into a full-length, interactive story.
SecondDimension
17. Sep 2012 路 20:13 UTC
Wow that was great, really captured the atmosphere of an oppressive dystopian state.