{"author_link":"\/author\/irma-vep\/","author_name":"irma vep","author_uid":"27024","comments":[{"author_name":"kristoffer zetterberg","author_uid":"27525","time":"Dec 17, 2013 @ 9:01pm","epoch":1387313760,"text":""so the soul can fly out", what a beautiful thing to say, though i imagine it can come of as insensitive to some. \r\ri like your style and writing, how you're not overly sentimental or dwell on details or use too many descriptions, but instead let each page be a small picture and let me speculate on the other things. really touching story.\r\rone thing though: the choice, it's not clear what it is that you're referring to with the yes\/no-answer, "go or not go?" would perhaps work better."},{"author_name":"JaymeeMak","author_uid":"30729","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 8:06am","epoch":1387440060,"text":"I agree with kristoffer zetterberg - when choosing whether or not to go to work, it wasn't clear what 'yes\/no' entailed."},{"author_name":"irma vep","author_uid":"27024","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 8:11am","epoch":1387440360,"text":"Thanks for checking my game out.\rIt's my very first entry at ludum dare, so I appreciate your suggestion. :)"},{"author_name":"havana24","author_uid":"16470","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 8:41am","epoch":1387442160,"text":"Nice writing skill. ;)\rMaybe a background music could improve the mood of the game!\rI also agree with kristoffer zetterberg about the yes\/no choice."},{"author_name":"lilinx","author_uid":"28339","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 9:04am","epoch":1387443540,"text":"Wait...this is great. Not even sure what I found in it was intentionnaly put there. I will come back and read it over again. Whatever your LD ratings might be in the end, please know you achieved something with this game.\r\r---\rIt says "“Shit“" on Monday 16:07 after "letting yourself be sent out by the nurse". If this is a typo I think it's ok to correct it now. If it's intentional, nevermind.\rI also think the yes\/no is a little confusing. I thought I had to answer the question : "difficult?"."},{"author_name":"lilinx","author_uid":"28339","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 9:06am","epoch":1387443660,"text":"Actually the typo is not exactly as written above, because it has be re-encoded when copy\/pasted here, but you get the idea : strange characters."},{"author_name":"irma vep","author_uid":"27024","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 2:03pm","epoch":1387461480,"text":"Ilinx, you're right - it's a typo fault, which doesn't show on my computer. And the music: we tried to link one end with my father's favourite song. But it seems that it fails. Embarrassed,\rIrma\r(But thank you for playing it! :))"},{"author_name":"irma vep","author_uid":"27024","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 9:20pm","epoch":1387487700,"text":"so I cleared a few faults now, one unclear phrase and the link with the intended song. Hope, the jam rules allow these corrections.\rThanks for your suggestions"},{"author_name":"whiteknife","author_uid":"30189","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 10:06pm","epoch":1387490460,"text":"Well-told, although I thought that some of the choices were unclear and the medium of the interactive narrative could have been utilized better. That said, it's a powerful tale and you really get the sense of emotion from it. The song was a very nice touch too. Overall, very well done, and thanks for sharing this with us."},{"author_name":"jacklehamster","author_uid":"20841","time":"Dec 19, 2013 @ 10:43pm","epoch":1387492680,"text":"Quite touching. I noticed there was less choices towards the end, but it's not a big deal."},{"author_name":"Zerkruemler","author_uid":"27446","time":"Dec 20, 2013 @ 12:02pm","epoch":1387540620,"text":"Good writing. I was i a similar situation some years ago and I think you got the spirit of the situation very well.\r\rGood work nicely implemented."},{"author_name":"PaperBlurt","author_uid":"26530","time":"Dec 20, 2013 @ 4:28pm","epoch":1387556580,"text":"Nice style and writing.\rLooking forward to seeing more stuff from you.."},{"author_name":"Christina Nordlander","author_uid":"20504","time":"Dec 22, 2013 @ 6:38pm","epoch":1387737180,"text":"Not sure how to rate something so personal.\r\rThe Twine text looks very good. The writing is very simple, but this is a story where flashy stylistics would be out of place. Some beautiful phrases.\r\rPowerful."},{"author_name":"irma vep","author_uid":"27024","time":"Dec 23, 2013 @ 6:10pm","epoch":1387821900,"text":"Thank You :)"},{"author_name":"Jupiter_Hadley","author_uid":"27744","time":"Dec 25, 2013 @ 4:39pm","epoch":1387989240,"text":"I am sorry about your fathers death. Great story thought... I included it in my Ludum Dare compilation video series, if you'd like to take a look :) http:\/\/youtu.be\/Sii3dnpSvEI"}],"images":["ld28\/27024-7b7ebe64ff1a38400610706d0a4feaaf.jpg"],"links":[{"url":"https:\/\/dl.dropboxusercontent.com\/u\/72122031\/An%20ordinary%20story.html","text":"Web"}],"metadata":{"g_key":"21990","g_author":"27024","g_event":"LD28","g_eventkey":"20","g_subevent":"JAM","g_urlkey":"22019","g_title":"An ordinary story about death","g_status":"UCHK1","g_place":"415","g_commentcount":"15","g_site2_node_id":"0","g_hide":"N","g_has_icon":"Y","g_rqueue":"0","g_random":"0"},"nds":[],"node":null,"orig_images":["http:\/\/ludumdare.com\/compo\/wp-content\/compo2\/\/308734\/27024-shot0.png-eq-900-500.jpg"],"text":"This is a personal story about my father's last day.\r\nWritten by Stephanie Juergensen. \r\nBuilt with Twine, with some help of Lou Ulakovic. ","title":"An ordinary story about death"}